Spotting Microagression
By Jody Bell
The first time I experienced microaggression I was 15 years old.
I was working on a particular group project that involved solar panels and some hands-on engineering. There were three tasks to be done – writing a memorandum of our process, wiring, and soldering. As we began delegating, my peers suggested that I should be the writer for the process – they insisted I was a good writer. I, however, was a terrible writer in high school and found comfort in numbers and hands-on learning. I had no idea how to respond to their comments without belittling myself – “I’m really not a great writer, could I work on the wiring instead?” I delicately protested until they gave in.
I did some of the best wiring work I’ve ever done during that project. As I approached my peers with the wiring completed they meagerly mumbled “wow that’s actually not half bad.” I could sense their response was equal parts surprised and embarrassed given their initial underestimation of my traditionally male skillset.
At the time I really didn’t know this was microaggression – I even took their response as a compliment! But of course as I matured and reflected on that conversation, the microaggression was obvious. They had no basis to determine how good (or bad) of a writer or engineer I was other than my appearance and gender identity. Then, their underestimation of my engineering only revealed that they had low expectations going into the process simply due to my gender.
I’m not alone in their experience – almost ⅔ of women face workplace microaggression everyday – and women of color experience this at a disproportionately higher rate.
But what exactly is microaggression?
When people think about discrimination, they often think about unequal pay, sexual harassment, and job representation. While these are crucial aspect of the discussion around equality, this is macroaggression – the systematic or overt discrimination that comes to mind immediately. Microaggression may not be as obvious as microaggression – it may even be unintentional comments or assumptions that display subconscious bias.
So how do I spot microaggression?
While there are endless manifestations of microaggression, there are three major categories that it can be broken down into.
1. “Benevolent sexism” and unwanted touching/closeness
Have you ever been called “sweetheart”, “honey”, or seemingly nice names that you don’t think men would be called? Well – that’s microaggression!
This is often referred to as benevolent sexism – behavior and treatment that is positive in nature but wouldn’t be extended to men. This can be a nickname, extra time off for “getting home safely”, or general coddling. This may seem nice at first, however, with repetition it can truly make you feel inferior to your male colleagues. Often this treatment is unintentional and based on subconscious bias, and having an upfront but professional conversation is a good approach. In conjunction with this you probably also want to discuss your situation with a trusted mentor/superior.
Similar to this is a general physical closeness that many women experience in the workplace. While this doesn’t have to be sexual in nature, it could be something as “innocent” as resting a hand on your lower back when passing you. Women have their physical space invaded at a disproportionate rate compared to their male colleagues – and even if this isn’t “sexual”, it is in no way appreciated or appropriate.
If you ever feel uncomfortable or as though someone is in your own personal bubble, you should absolutely say something. I would also suggest speaking to HR/guidance counselors as discussing your experience is crucial.
2. Differing treatment despite uniform actions
Are you overly praised for your achievements in a traditionally male role? Or maybe you’re called “loud” or “bossy” even though you speak similarly to your peers? Well, both of these reveal yet another facet of microaggression.
This is exactly why women are 30% more likely than men to be called “too aggressive” or “bossy” when negotiating – the subconscious bias of their peers results in penalizations for the same treatment. On some occasions this can be viewed as initially positive; women are often referred to as “nice” or a “people person” more than male colleagues given the stereotypes of women being kind caregivers. Yet, during negotiations, when stern opinions and boundaries are needed, women are seen as “acting out of character” which results in name calling.
It can be incredibly frustrating as a woman when you are constantly looking for uniform treatment and consistently display the same behaviors as your male colleagues. In these situations, discuss your experiences with family and friends to ensure you have an outlet for your frustration, and chat with a mentor about what can be done in your work environment/classroom.
3. Underestimation (of you and/or women in general)
Have you ever been complimented but the statement ended with “for a girl”? Well – that’s also microaggression.
This implies a general inferior perception of women, and while the statement may be wrapped up in a compliment, it still reveals bias against you. You shouldn’t have to fight for your chance to be taken seriously and then relish in being “unique” compared to women in general. Plus, how could you celebrate a “compliment” that belittles the entire female population?!
When it comes to microaggression, this is barely the tip of the iceberg. Growing up we are taught that discrimination exists, but our education usually revolves around macroaggression. In reality, most women experience microaggression daily, usually even multiple times a day, and many don’t even recognize it as a form of discrimination.
Most importantly, remember you are not alone and if you are experiencing frequent microaggression it’s crucial to speak with trusted loved ones and mentors who can help.
Jody Bell, 20 is Girls With Impact’s Editor in Chief and a program graduate from Greenwich High School. Girls With Impact is the nation’s only online, business and leadership program for girls 14-24, turning them into tomorrow’s leaders, entrepreneurs, and innovators.