Advice From GenZ Dads on Raising Their Daughters
Jennifer Openshaw, CEO of Girls with Impact leading a discussion on what it means to be a father in 2020
By Jody Bell
We know that GenZ is a unique generation. They are more technological capable, educated, and independent than any other generation we have seen. They are the children that question everything and expect a seat at the table with their peers and families. But, what does this mean as a parent? How do you raise a child who thinks they are able to raise themselves?
Jennifer Openshaw recently spoke with three fathers to discuss the complexity of raising a GenZer with David Jimenez, President of Actelion, a Johnson & Johnson Company; Craig Archibald, Senior Project Manager at a mechanical engineering company, and Chris Curtain, Chief Branding Officer at VISA.
One of the biggest takeaways: GenZ parents are learning just as much as their children. As Jimenez put it, “The same way that I am teaching her I am learning from her.” GenZ’s outspoken and activism driven nature is trickling down to the family—leading to open dialogue and hard questions. Here is what this means and some advice from GenZ dads on raising their daughters.
Allow GenZ to Question Everything
GenZ is a generation that is constantly consuming information — calling them curious is truthfully an understatement.
50% of GenZ spends at least 10 hours per day online, and during that time they are exposing themselves to different viewpoints, world news, and entertainment content from around the globe. No longer are children raised within an echo-chamber of their family and community. With this growing perspective children are questioning everything, including parenting choices. Archibald points out that when he was growing up, it was simply expected to do what his parents asked of him and conform to their expectations/ideologies.
However, this is not how Archibald is raising his daughter Amira. Amira asks why she can and cannot do certain activities, and repeatedly will question her father’s parenting as opposed to simply listening. This has nothing to do with authority, and everything to do with building an inquisitive and curious mind that does not just blindly accept the world around it. As parents, it is imperative to feed into this mentality through starting conversations surrounding these questions and encouraging them as opposed to dismissing them.
How You Can Learn from GenZ
Not only is GenZ aware through their technology, but they are on track to be the most educated generation we have seen.
You may not expect it, but they have perspectives and information that could widen even your breadth of knowledge and awareness. Not only is it crucial for your relationship to make them feel heard, but valuing their knowledge is important for their development as well. As Jimenez puts it, “they have knowledge to bring to the table as well, which you must bring to the forefront. Show them you believe they are capable and knowledgeable, and they will be.”
So, allow for these conversations, and allow for a more peer-to-peer exchange that values each perspective equally. You may be surprised with just how much you’ll learn.
Help GenZ Find Their Passion to Stay Motivated
When your daughter wants to quit on something what do you say? These fathers believe that this century long dilemma is answered through passion.
Jimenez reveals that “if she wants to quit I ask her to reflect on why she wanted to do it in the first place.” Understanding the passion behind the work may allow your child to get back into a headspace of motivation and grit. Then, it is simply a matter of balancing that passion with the amount of work required to understand if this is truly something your child wants to pursue. There does come a point where passions die out, and quitting is beneficial for character growth—finding this point is an amazing skill to have and one you should help your child with.
What These Dads Hope for Their Children
Every family has unique perspectives on what they hope their child will accomplish in life. But, for a generation that is so heavily defined by leadership and empathy, you may see some overlap in your hopes for your GenZ child.
Make an impact — “Her mindset since she was younger was aiming to help out the community and others, which is she now wants to do as a career” says Archibald about his daughter. He hopes to support this in any way possible, through enrolling her in programs such as Girls With Impact, and treating her as a changemaker from a young age.
Be a Leader — Being a leader 12 and 13 years old is not an expectation of many parents. But, for Curtain and his daughter, he hopes she recognizes that a true leader is not defined by accomplishments, but by bringing “energy and focus to spaces where none exist.” He aims to empower his daughter with this knowledge so she can understand how obtainable leadership truly is.
Find Their Own Happiness — Every parent wants their child to be happy. But just how is that happiness defined? Jimenez hopes that his daughter will decide what happiness truly means for her and pursue it wholeheartedly.
How Girls With Impact Helped These Dads
Each of these fathers has seen their daughters graduate from the Girls With Impact classes—an after-school, extra-curricular online program in STEM, leadership, and business. As Curtain puts it, “For her to be able to intersect an area of interest and passion with how to bring that to market has been fantastic.
Not only has this program made a mark on the girls themselves, but it has also improved their relationships with their fathers. Jimenez works in business himself, and when his daughter, Alejandra, asked for advice for her business plan they had a conversation that completely blew them both away. Alejandra had never seen her father in a professional context, and Jimenez had no idea his daughter was so articulate in business. The two of them were able to bond over this new shared passion and brainstorm together.
Advice for Other Dads:
Listen — Understand why she thinks how she thinks. Be a guide but do not be domineering. Let her grow up as herself and ask the hard questions that will shape her.
Take it on their terms, be on listen mode, and show interest — Your child may not naturally open up to you, and that’s okay! Curtain points out the power in spending time around his daughter. He simply sits in his daughter’s room with his laptop doing work — 20 minutes later he usually hears a “hey dad, have you heard about _____”. In those moments he recommends really listening and showing interest.
Learn from her — Parenting is a learning experience and you will learn regardless. But, when you are raising GenZ you can learn about different perspectives, and about the world, just from the information your child is exposed to. Have these hard conversations, and allow them to guide your child’s identity and development.
Jody Bell, 19, is Girls With Impact’s Chief Editor and a program graduate. Girls With Impact is the nation’s only online, after-school, entrepreneurship program for teen girls, turning them into tomorrow’s business leaders and innovators.